Saturday, September 12, 2009

This One's for the Girls - No, really!

Warning - this blog is about menstruation. If you find that in poor taste...well, personally I don't really care. Read something else then.

Have you ever had your period completely surprise you? You are on holidays, or in your car, or in the fitting room at Nordstrom, or worse - in a lecture hall, and you start to feel this slow trickle between your legs. If you are like me, than for sure you will not have a tampon in your purse. I always keep one for emergencies and it seems like I always use it and forget to replace it. Or, alternatively, I haven't used it and it gets mangled by the junk in my purse until there is no way that it could be considered sanitary and it gets pitched. This is precisely the moment where I will get my period - because I am unprepared.
I was musing on this predicament with my sister a while back and bitching that I, a 35 year old woman, should by now have some reasonable idea of when I will menstruate - but I don't. Every month it's like this diabolical surprise that springs up, usually when I am wearing white. My older sisters are incredulous that this continually happens to me. Kate: "Don't you know by now how to chart your period? They teach you that when you are twelve you know." Yes, I remember health class where dear Daena's mom (who was a nurse) would come and pass out "It's Wonderful Being a Girl" pamphlets and allow us to write questions annonymously on little scaps of paper so that we wouldn't be embrassed. I guess that you could say I am remedial because I never did actually use the calendar enclosed; twenty years later, I still have not done so.
Lynne and I have a mutual friend who tracks her period on-line so I thought I would check it out. http://www.mymonthlycycles.com/ If you are forgetful like me, this is a handy dandy little site. You can fill out your calendar online and it will send you reminder emails when you are going to menstruate. There was one hitch though in that you have to be able to give the dates of your last two periods (which frankly, if I knew that I wouldn't need the calendar) but after some discussion with Rob (Don't you remember? We were kyaking and had to race into Jasper? The month before that remember we had to leave that dinner party early?), I managed to figure it out. Yes folks, my poor husband has purchased feminine hygiene products for me pretty much everywhere on earth while I sit slunked low in the passenger seat with a napkin jammed between my legs... Anyway, the site is awesome. This month I received a pink pop-up reminder that said "Lisa: put some tampons in your purse." Also, you can track fertility, breast self examination, symptoms of your period, gynecologist appointments - whatever you want. It will graph the trends for you and make suggestions.
What really struck me though was the section for women who are trying to conceive. This is an invaluable tool for them as it tracks ovulation. There is a section called the 'Wishing Well' - as I opened it my eyes filled with tears (did I mention the cite will also track PMS?) Hundreds, no thousands, of voices filled my screen: 'Please God, give me a baby,' 'Please let this be the month,' 'My husband's disappointment is killing me, he wants this so badly.' It's overwhelming. There is a section called TTC after MC (trying to conceive after miscarrying) where women can post their wishes but also comment on other's wishes. You can send people prayers or, for the non-religious, wishes of good luck. You can send women 'tons of baby dust' or make supportive comments. This is what I found truly moving. Somewhere out in the electronic blackness there is a community of women holding each other up - buttressing each other. They are seperated by race, ethnicity, distance, socio-economic circumstances, religion, sexual orientation and so on - yet they come together to share their hopes, experiences and fears.

I added my own wish to well. "Please help us continue to be sisters, please help us support one another. Grant us peace."